You are strong.
I have watched you fight for well-being right from Day 1. You spent first 5 days of your life in NICU fighting to stabilize your blood sugar. I must tell you, you are one strong girl. You were smiling and moving in spite of the discomfort caused by all those wires and drips. Those syringe pricks every 3 hours didn’t bother you.
There may come a time in your life when you feel weak or inadequate. Please remember what you were able to accomplish entirely of your own will and your own fortitude. You are strong.
You were ready.
You endured so much in your days in the NICU. One day, I watched you have blood drawn from your heel, then watched a dressing change on the central line that traveled from your wrist to your heart. I was left standing beside you, with my hands extended through the two portholes in your isolette. I placed my hands on your head and belly, I held you as close as I was allowed, and I apologized. I told you how sorry I was that all of this was happening to you. We have gone through a lot of tensed moments to bring you home just in time for your daddy’s birthday. But, my sweet baby, you are perfect. You are strong and healthy and exactly what you are supposed to be.
There may come a time in your life when you feel like you are not ready for what is being asked of you. You may feel scared, overwhelmed or otherwise ill-prepared. Please know that your instincts about timing have always been correct. You are ready.
You are privileged.
You missed being close to your mummy in the first 5 days of your life. But remember, you are all right because you were born in a country with the resources and technology to sustain your fragile bodies. You are all right because we happen to live in a community with access to exceptional healthcare .You are all right because we had the benefit of comprehensive health insurance coverage. You are all right because you have an exceptional family to take care of your. Your grandmother travelled all the way from India to take care of you when you were born.
There may come a time in your life when you encounter those who do not share your many advantages in life. Never feel guilty about those advantages, but always feel grateful for them. You are privileged.
You are never alone.
You are blessed with an exceptionally loving family. Your parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and your cousins love you a lot. They have always wished for your health and success and they love you dearly. Your cousin came to see you all the way from New Jersey , only to see you through the glass door of NICU.
There may come a time in your life when you feel adrift or unsure of where to turn for help. Turn to your family. You are never alone.
You are loved.
Because visitation was restricted in the NICU, people had to send their love and support in very creative ways . All those text messages, calls and visits were a great support. Your grandmother prayed for you day in and day out. She would hold you briefly and say her prayers. I could see the love in her eyes. The first time you were allowed to step out of house, she made sure it was for a visit to Hindu temple.
She knitted you beautiful sweaters.
There may come a time in your life when you feel that you are not enough. Please know that you have been wrapped in love from the moment you first drew breath. You were loved before you said anything, before you did anything, before you knew anything, before you were anything.
For the lonely days, for the difficult days, my sweet bay girl: You are loved.
Note: Thanks to Meghan Syzlvian and Huffington Post for giving me this idea of writing a post about letters to baby.